I think that 'pretend' implies that one is retaining the original underlying personality completely and consciously, whereas what I think Panthosette is refer to is an actual, if temporary, exchange of personality, still consciously done, but, while done, the original issues of the original personality disappear.

My AS buddy can do this in a flash, and turn on his 'actor' mode. All his normal challenges are temporarily removed, and he behaves in a 'normal', or even an extroverted way. The only problem is that he doesn't get the same level of personal satisfaction from those exchanges, although he can get results that have later benefits to him. He knows what he's doing, and he has full control of the switch, but he also finds it has a sort of a hollowness, as it is the achievement of the 'actor' rather than that of his true 'self'. So, I guess what I'm saying is that it is a good coping strategy, but not a long term road to personal satisfaction.

Max also used to pretend he was a cat when younger. He stopped around age 8 or 9 I think. Linda

Bart, my son does this as well. He has even claimed to see a young fellow in the home. Doctor said it may have been a manifestation of stress, or the "Ben" that he wanted to be. Fascinating dynamic.

I think I started a post on here a long time ago about imaginary friends but couldn't pull it up. I never had any nor did my other 2 sons but I always wished I had one when I was little, seemed so cool. Max had a very close imaginary friend named Mac who had a mom it seems but spent a lot of time at our house. He was about 2 at the time. Mac was later joined by Alex and Sam and they all hung around until Max was about 5. I thought it was cute at the time but now wonder if it was a sign of loneliness due to AS or just being an only child. Did any of you or your kids have imaginary friends when small?

Linda, I would not call my son's experience as having a friend. He saw a boy named Ryan in our home, usually in the evening after he went to bed (bed time was always rough). He told us later that he would come out into the living room and Ryan was sitting on the floor watching TV. He had on dark trousers and a striped shirt. He felt Ryan was a better boy than he was and believed he heard us talking to him lovingly; in a way Ben felt we did not. I was tormented by this for months. My heart broke. What I have concluded - and this is still true today - is that my son does indeed feel less loved because he receives more instruction and redirection from us, and more pushback from either friends or teachers. What we had to do was actually show him 4 chairs at the table, 4 toothbrushes, etc. until Ryan went away. I am very candid with my son because he is smarter than I am. When he expresses this sense of favoritism I sit and go through the events that brought him to feel this way. I do not reference anyone else, like his brother, just him. "When you did this you hurt me. When you hurt me, you and I need to be apart. I will always love you, but I cannot let you hurt me." These are conversations we never have with his brother because he is the most mild mannered fella. I speak with my son privately, reinforce my love, hold him without cracking his tiny bones and vow to help him learn to make choice that result in good feelings.
The stuffed tigers and things are a source of great comfort. They never hurt him and never say hurtful things. They are there at bedtime, and again when he awakes.

Panthosette, because of the roads you have travelled, your insights and suggestions are very valuable. Sometimes in life, it takes a person who has struggled with an issue, then overcome it, to be able to share the solution in a meaningful way. The supermarket game is something Max would be able to greatly benefit from. I never would have come up with it myself.

In what way do you find that the definition of AS is becomming too narrow? How do you feel that your situation is different to other's put out there? Are the discussions too quick because they go off on side tracks before all angles have been discussed?

Linda my son never had an imaginary friend. He didn't have any imagination/pretend play at all until he started on meds. Funny even now at 7 yrs, he still can't imagine that abstractly... but he can pretend to be an object or animal!

Vmum: I find that there doesn't seem to be flexability in the defination to allow for individuality. The strive to find similarities is so great that each of us are getting sucked into stereotypes. I find it a bit worrying for parents, lol, even myself! There are so many new and creative ways to teach and learn that if we listen too closely to the rules of what AS is, we can miss some variances in the individial which could benefit from non-traditional ideas.
AS is a spectrum... if we say "all ppl with AS do not want to socialize" we could hurt those ppl with AS who strive to have a friend.
My situation is the same and different. I don't see life as that black and white.... but rather in so many possibilities it becomes overwhelming. A question like that is too general for me.
The side tracks are a bit frustrating, lol, but that's only because I use it when I argue with someone... I tend to lead them in enough circles around the issue, they end up letting me get my own way :P
I do enjoy reading all the posts. I find it very interesting to see how much we all differ. I am always looking for new ideas to try out with my son.

My son did not play pretend. He just acted like a tiger, but did not interact with his peers at all.