Hi my name is Yvette from Australia. My husband and I have a 10 yr old son who we believe has aspergers, but have't had him accessed yet. We also have a 6 yr old son.
Is it normal for AS mums to have trouble in getting the attention of their kids. We find we have to say his name 5-7 times before we get a response. And quite often I have to tap him on the arm to get noticed. But he has trouble with this as he doesn't like being touched.
Does anyone have any ideas as it would be appreciated

Hi Yvette,
Welcome to the board! I have two ideas that I will share with you. I have a 10 year old AS son. I often have a difficult time getting Ian's attention because he is so focused on what he is doing. That maybe what your child is doing. The second idea I have is that could your son be having silent seizures? Many, but not all AS children have seizures and with the silent type it is almost like in a trance. Has he ever been checked for seizures?
I understand what you mean about not being able to touch them, my son is that way also.

Welcome again,
Mary

Yvette,
Sorry, I just re-read your post and realized mine doesn't help you much. I thought you were asking what might cause him to do that, but you are asking what other things work to get their attention.
Light adjustment works well for us. I either dim the lights or brighten according to what the need is, and this usually gets his attention without making him upset that I touched him.

Best of Luck,
Mary

Hi Ians mom, thanks for the reply,
I'm fairly new to this but I've been trying to read up lots, so I can understand my son better.
We had what I think you call a meltdown this arvo, while the kids were playing the X-box. They can only play for half an hour during the week. But I have a problem with my older son trying to dictate what the youngest is doing right through the game. He goes as far as whether he can save it, what buttons he has to push, what strategy he has to make. As you can imagine it makes for a pretty uneventful game for my 6yr old. It got so bad that I had to turn it off and my son went a bit beserk. Oh well something else I'll have to work out. I think the only way would be to put it in a separate room that you can lock so my youngest can play in peace.
We're just about to start six weeks of school holidays here in Qld Australia. Goodey!

I had to work for a long time with my son..call his name...when I finally got his attention, I almost always ask "What did Mommy just say Rhett?" Then after some time, he knew I would ask the question, kinda like lengthening his attention span...and he pays attention now for his name in case he might Miss something. He realizes being in his own world and not paying attention, heaven forbid he might miss something he likes. He could get so used to mommy doing everything so just stay in his own world. I had to stop with the guilt and make him start doing more and really staying on top of his butt and not let him go into his world for too long.Every twenty minutes or so, call him out of his room and amke him do even a small task like put something in the laundry, get something for me...the hardest thing was for me to change,,

Thanks Ians mom, I will try the dimming of lights idea. And thanks Rhetts mom for the ideas. You've made me realise just how much of the day my son is in a trance like state, which really does need to be looked at furthur. I'm goimg to have to be a bit tougher( Which is totally against my grain, as I'm not naturally like that, I'm a bit of a softy.
I believe my husband also shows some asperger tendancies, and because hes a bit close to it, he doesn't notice as much as I do. He works as a computer systems anlyist and has always been crazy about Star Trekk, anything about space and pysics Does this sound familiar to anyone.
And it looks like my as son has the same ideas.
Living with all males means our TV viewing is dominated by star trekk series being contually being watched, action movies and dr who etc.And they will just watch them over and over.I have to only watch something once and thats enough. I wish I could get the chance to see a nice emotional, romantic movie that you can have a good bawl at. Ohhhhhhhh Wellll will just have to keep in touch with my girlfriends.

Yvette,
OH MY,,you just described my household! All males here but me and a guinea pig..LOL. My husband has many AS traits, loves Star Trekk, history, and all those awful waste of film movies and both of my children enjoy that kind of stuff too. I watch little T.V. for one reason I got tired of fighting for watching something worth watching and the other is I don't find much interest in a lot of the shows on T.V.
I am a softy too with my son, and it has been hard to toughen up but I had to do it! Coming from an abusive childhood myself, it was hard for me to sort out anger verus good parenting skills. This has been by far my hardest hurdle to overcome. Instead of dealing with what needed to be dealt with, I would become afraid that I would abuse my child, so I just ignored the behaviors. It has been a long road for me to get to where I finally should be as far as being unafraid to be a good parent to my son.I hope that makes sense to you.Sometimes being a tougher mother is being the best parent you can be. I was always so afraid to "cross the line", but now I know I can be in control of the situation and make the best decisions for my child.

Hope you have a great evening.

Mary