Are there any aspis like me who do not suffer with real depression at all?
My own specialist is of the opinion that any aspies that suffer anything like depression is usually only because they are different lonely and do not know why.

I myself do not suffer it at all, if you think about it full autistic do not suffer it becaue they tend not to really care too much about the world other then their own.
In my case some of that applys, I'm different but I do not want to be an NT, the closest I would have is be worried about an upcomming job or have a temporary upset when some thing goes wrong, but I know from experience that I usually bounce back after a day or so.
I do go in to a kind of mild shock after extreme experiences good or bad that can last a week or so, the specialist said that this is fixed by doing things like watchign your facourite videos or reading you favourite books fot that week, I was amazed as that was what I always did.

But what I really want is to see if there are any aspies like me who do not suffere with depression at all?
Are there any happy aspies? Also how is depression and aspergers mixed up? How can that happen? I know manic a manic depressive and asked the Professor about them, their symtoms seem completely different, they have no interest in anything yet an aspi, despite how )we appear, smiles or not) are alway furthering an interest.
It has said every where I have checked that from birth to death we will always have an interest or interests of some kind, we are never with out one, that is fully true of me, I can't help wanting to research and do things..

Any opinions on this also.

Firstly Kirk, I know that you don't fully agree that a self diagnosed can be considered an aspie. This you have stated before. However, bearing that in mind, I will add my opinion anyway, since I am not quite so determined that an official diagnosis is needed. You can take my comments as possibly being valid in regards to aspies, and definitely being valid for me.

I don't suffer real depression. I have moments of irritation, which are very fleeting, and sadly, too often. However, I know that these are petty and nothing to dwell on, and I move on, by ignoring, rejecting, or embracing them. I have longer periods of distress, and these are usually caused by taking on a responsibility which I suddenly find is too much for me, or taking longer than anticipated. I handle these by putting in more time and effort, in order to get back on schedule, or I quit. Usually I just work harder and harder until I suddenly realize that this tactic is not effective, and then I just 'drop out'. Once I drop out, I have no regrets about it at all. I just happily move on to the next 'project'.

I wake up each morning, happy with the day, and it basically continues that way, all day. I stay up late quite often, not from insomnia, but since I'm having a good time, enjoying myself, doing whatever it is I'm doing.

I have had long periods with absolutely no interests in the sense of INTERESTS, if you know what I mean. There may be some casual interest, but nothing compelling. Then someting catches my attention, and I cannot stop myself. I don't even try. I just surf the moment, the days, the weeks, even months and years, and then the wave breaks and I idle around happily waiting for the next wave to come along. A different wave, but just as interesting.

The last time I was truly depressed was a long time ago, and frankly, too personal to go into here. If you really want the details, I might consider sending it to you in a PM, but probably won't. However, my coping strategy was to simply play one particular piece of haunting music, over and over again, for days and days, crying at times, and about a week later I was fine again. My life had shifted dramatically, but I was able to enjoy it again.

Just so you know, I believe some one not diagnosed can be an aspi, but if your not diagnosed you can not be sure, of course is it pefectly ok to think suspect you have aspergers and you may well have but you can not claim knowledge you do not have. I consider you saying you do not see the need for a diagnosis as a good thing, it says to me that you are happy with who you are and could not see how it would help.

As far as who I am, my diagnosis changed nothing, I do what I do and I am what I am reguardless of verbal labels, it's just so happens that I am now designated aspergers by the medical comunity.

I learned to keep away from haunting music at times like that, no matter how much I love it. I noticed it tened to prolong those periods, and cndiering Phantom is my favourite musical and story it was quite hard.

The interests thing I do not get as it has been stated to me firmly many times. I can even name them all in chronological order.

This time Ten years ago it was star trek, this time twnety years ago it was skelitons.
I can track every interest, in fact I believe it is my interests that kept me from depression.

What really upsets me is being kept from my interests.

K.

oh, and I'm glad you changed your picture back, I really like that one. Imagine, I find clown scary! And i own two living dead dolls ! lol

Kirk.

My latest interest has been car rallying, and what is upsetting me is the developing internal politics. Something that is so clean and precise should not be soiled by NT shenanigans, power struggles, and back stabbing, and yet that is what is happening here. It is very distressing, and I can see that I may suddenly just quit. I have already stopped organizing, and even though I'm the local club's secretary, I can see the signs of a quit coming there too. When it takes me 3 weeks to do up the minutes of the meeting, which are normally done by the time I go to bed that same night, I know that my mind is sending me a message.

Haunting music is a wonderful release for me. If I am 'down' it matches my mood, but as the music ends, the mood I have has been slightly moderated. Very seldom does music end on a 'sour' note, so repetition of this helps me. If I try to listen to anything 'light' it is too trivial to match my mood and I just become angry. I'd much rather be depressed than angry, since I've done some horrible things in anger, but never in sadness. I cannot allow myself anger. It is simply too dangerous for me, or anyone around me. I reject anger, and will choose anything else first.

I understand what you mean about your interest as secretary.

The musical society has tried to Draft me twice on to the comettee, last year and this year, they even voted me in, boath times I turned it down. I'm not there becuase I want to run the any part of the society, I'm there because I love muscials.
I do the job of a commettee member anyway btu at least if I were to miss a rehearsal or not be able to attend meetings it's not so bad as I consider myself just another member.

when it comes to mood music I do get what you mean. when I sence trouble in work I start singin the nat king cole sone, There may be trouble ahead. I do actually tend to sing songs in work to suit situations.

I heard a funny expression a while back, Depression is anger with out entuasium lol.

Personally I do not like either emotion. I do not believ in suppressing feeling but rather in not feeling the bad ones in the first place. Don't misunderstand me here, i'm speaking in a buddhist sence, so I will find a new way of thinking about some thing so it doesn't upset me or find a new perspective.

Kirk.

I would consider myself happy. I need to work on conquering anxiety but, other than that, I consider my life ideal.

I like that one. I'd say it's more like despair without enthusiasm though. I think that's how I've lived most of my life. I was repeatedly diagnosed with depression when I was a child. I'd say I'm rarely happy, but I can't seem to work myself up into a good rage or cry either. Someone described me as "unflappable" the other day, which is a word I've never really understood until I learned about stimming. I think I became this way in large part because my coping mechanism for social interaction problems was based upon total self-restraint. I didn't allow myself to talk, move, or even have a facial expression unless I carefully thought it over first. I've been doing it so long that I don't think I'm even capable of "letting myself go." The one exception was when I was kept in a hospital for a week (got hit by a car), where I had a very difficult time controlling my frustration and tone of voice with the nurses, even though I wasn't angry with them personally. Other than that, my emotions stay on a pretty low plateau, which is similar enough to being depressed that I'm not sure there's much significant difference.

I am happy, but I've been depressed a lot, I think I was just angry though, I had the enthusiasm with that anger too, but I didnt know why I was angry and I didn't know what to do with it, so I used it to hate myself, hurt myself, take pills, cut myself and so on.

A few months back I flipped out when a child burst a ballon I loved (the ballon had been given to me and I was sooooo happy about it and I was bouncing it on my hands and just so thrilled with this ballon and then this child in my school jumps out and bursts it) and I kinda woke from a daze a minuite or so later to find myself pummling her over and over again. And even to this day I am not at all sorry I just wish I hit her harder, even though I know kids do mean and stupid things.
So that was pretty much when I realised, I'm not depressed, just angry, theres so much anger inside me and its the most pleasurable thing in the world to get it out.

I spent a lot of last year "merging with the walls" sitting on the floor in corridors at school and feeling myself fall into the walls and become a part of them and I thought that was depression, which made me feel guilty because I enjoyed doing it and its wrong to enjoy doing anything that upsets people (and I got in loads of trouble with the school for making them look bad or something I am not sure).

That merging with the walls thing is a form of mesmerism or self hypnosis. It can happen with the floor too, and you just feel like your sinking into it. You can see you are still in position, but the feeling is of being inside it, safely cocooned. It is a nice place to go, but you can utilize your time there by saying short positive reinforcements to yourself (quietly). "I am feeling better with every breath" is a good one to lift your spirits.