On Saturday, after playing 2 great soccer games..Jake and my husband went turkey " hunting ". It was more like fossil hunting, creek playing, and turkey blind sitting. I am amazed that Jake sat in a turkey blind for over 2 hrs. He used his call and the birds even answered him back. He found 4 great fossils that he wants to share with his classmates.
My husband said that Jake was the darling of all the hunters. They really enjoyed his interest and joy at being outdoors. Jake LOVES the be one with nature..he seems to find great peace in it .
So..I just wanted to share my delight at my son being relaxed and happy!!

Megan

That's great they had a great time together. It was great that they had a bonding day.

I love it when our kids actually feel the joy!

Linda

When Jake has those really happy moments, when he is not anxious..when he giggles ( and means it and it's appropriate ), it's like a glimpse into who he might be if he didn't have any challanges. I love who Jake is..but like any mother who loves her son, I just want his life to be easy.

Megan

Well, you might have to change easy for interesting but in the end he may be happier for that!

It was mentioned in todays IEP meeting that we should consider soccer or karate for Jacob. How has soccer helped, not helped your child in being a team player, social interaction and following rules. Jacob has played baseball for the last three years but refused to play this year so we didn't push him. I want to do everything I can to help him succeed in this world, and sococialization plays a big part.

I doubt that my experience will have been everyone's, but team sports have never helped me. Nobody ever seems interested in actually teaching you what you need to do, nor how to determine "who" is the one to "get" the ball and run with it. Most coaches are there for winning, and not for the benefit of the kids and their socialization. I would recommend much more one on one type of sports, but then, that's my view, and it may not be universal.

Soccer did not work with us. My boy is 13 now,but at 11 we tried.He is not sports kind of kid , didnt know scoccer game,because he was with kids his age he never really had a chance.He would have had more fun if he was able to play on younger brothers team(2 1/2 yrs younger)but they sort them by age.

My son, Jacob (now 10) played soccer for 2 years and then moved on to baseball. We made it through 2 seasons. It was just too much for him. Too much noise, too much activity, too much pressure to win. After several melt downs in the middle of the games, we decided it was time to stop. He has shown some interest in martial arts, so we may try that next.

Jake has played soccer for over 3 years. The league he plays for is one that feels learning to be a good sport and teamplayer are more important then winning. Parents are told NOT to coach from the sidelines. We cheer for everyone on every team..we even cheer the goalie who gets scored on..Good try goalie!
It's a great league for Jake. My husband is the coach, and a close friend of the family is the assistant coach.
Jake puts a lot of pressure on himself, and thewre have been times he has melted down. But..over all it's been great for him. Espaecially the social aspects of it. He is on a team, the kids laugh, joke around, ( it's co ed ).
He does get frustrated when the ref misses a bad play and doesn't blow his whistle.
This league has been great for us and for Jake!
I have heard that martial arts is amazing for all kids, esp kids like ours. But..do tons of research into the studio that you go to..some of them can be pretty fierce.


Megan

As an Aspie parent of an Aspie son, I found that very hard. It's not natural for me to be interested in such things in the first place, but I tried to fit in by watching and excluding other thoughts. Eventually, I would become mildly interested. I'd try to express that interest, then realize I had done so in a way that violated the "rules". Eventually I came to the realization that my presence there did my son more harm than good.

Looking back, that situation may be as good a way as any to describe to an NT what it feels like to be Aspie ----- at least THIS Aspie.

Some of my saddest memories are of Max standing out in a soccer field with tears running down his face totally overwhelmed. He was
anxious to try each year for basketball too with the same results. Not his thing. But Karate was good for him. The sad thing was he was fast and understood the game well but when all the action started it was just too much and he just saw all these kids coming at him.

Linda

I feel for you.

This factor may be relevant to the question of whether the military makes a good career for an Aspie. The military is pretty good at making its rules explicit, which I think is what made my Aspie sister sucessful there when she could not be successful elsewhere. On the other hand, she hardly participated in the cameraderie that others (particularly war veterans) describe as the main benefit of the military life.

I live in the DC suburbs, and I was amazed at the enthusiasm of many of the military officers who were delighted with the opportunity/excuse to go to scout camp between bouts of similar military exercises. I cannot imagine my sister at camp!

In the battlefield situations that are (in a sense) the focus of military life, the soldier is expected to subordinate his concern for his own safety to the interests of his unit. I suspect that is particularly difficult for an Aspie, for reasons that relate to your description of Max on the soccer field (which I can certainly relate to from my own experience, both as a teenager myself and from watching my son).

One way and another, my own advice, for what it's worth, would be that the military is probably not a good career choice for an Aspie. My sister survived it, and one could argue that if that opportunity had not been open to her she might have died of a drug overdose or something, but survival should not be one's only ambition.