Yesterday, my son got up early to go to Ikea. His employer (Best Buy) had asked him to buy some new furniture for their lunch room, given him a budget, and left him to figure it out.

I couldn't help remembering the struggles we had over the years to get him up in time for school. What a difference!

Of course he's been out of school for two years, so he's grown up from the passage of time, but I don't think that's the main difference. Every day, he felt crushed by the meaningless demands the school made for him to conform, he just hated it, and tried to postpone the evil moment he had to endure it again. Best Buy makes demands on him too, but he can see that these demands are necessary to the function of the store. He does not perceive them as insults.

Yesterday, he felt proud that Best Buy trusted him to make good decisions, so the moment he woke up, he wanted to get going to show that this trust was well-founded.

I wanted to share this so that parents whose children are still in school can feel reassured that their kids may do much better in the real world.

It also reminded me that most of the pain the schools inflicted on my son served no purpose I can see, other than minor bureaucratic convenience.

I am glad to hear that your son is able to " make it " ( whatever that really means ) in the world beyond the classroom.
My son is only 8, and I worry about his young adult/adulthood as well. He is ready to leave home, go live on Sesame Street, and hang out with Elmo. He has assured me that I will not be missed.
Now..if that was a possibility..I would get him a plane ticket today. ( Jake is aware that Elmo is pretend, that Kevin Cash pretends to be Elmo..but he wants nothing to do with Kevin Cash..he just wants to hang with Elmo).

Good for you proud PaPa!!
Megan

Yeh, it's that old thing of you have to show an aspie the benefit or purpose or they have no motivation. It is cool he likes what he does and it really is a show of trust that they are giving him a budget and allowing him to make decisions for the company. Does he live with you and your wife?

That is a little refreshing to know our kids can make it "in the real world." This is my husbands biggest fear. I can say we have made progress, and we have started the reward system with marbles in a jar. .. you get a marble when you are noticed doing or do something good. Reward the good behavior, down play the bad. So far it has been going good since Friday. My husband said he is amazed on how well both kids are doing with this,(He was skeptical at first). We will always wory about our children even when they are grown and gone and make lives of their own. But for now I'm going to cherish every moment I have with them and help both succeed in this world. :):)

Yes, Linda, he still lives at home. He grumbles quite a bit about this, and talks about moving in with friends, but I don't expect it to happen any time soon. He's fairly dependent on having someone organize the practical details of life.

Max has told us he has no intention of leaving home. He used to want to go away to college but now he thinks he would rather live at home. In fact he expects us to move out and retire to our mountain cabin and let him have the house - riiiiiight!!!!!!!!

Sounds like my son. He has at various times expressed the view that his parents OUGHT to subsidize him in various ways, but that he has no obligations to us. He'll often retreat from thisposition somewhat when I point out that his attitude is similar to the school saying that he OUGHT to be able to do various things he finds difficult, but that the school has no obligation to accomodate him in any way.

Yes, I had to remind him that he has 2 brothers and a sister and they all get equal shares. He couldn't believe this as they have their own houses and have never lived in our house. I had to point out that they did not always have their houses, they had to work and save to get them and so will he - so he'd better get busy on that biology homework!

Yes. Having everything revolve around one can be an all too easy illusion to run away with. I know I used to do it. It kind of brings to mind (or my mind, anyway) the vision of a spider striving to stay in the middle of its web.

...Or at least it would do if spiders didn't have to move from the centre every time a fly gets caught in the edges, or have to waste vital energy mending broken threads here and there whenever there's a breeze. It's positively sickening, actually, and I may have to switch invertebrates...

(And there's more in that than you might think as well. I am a little parasitic in nature. An ideal trick for when you're feeling socially awkward in a party environment is just to look pathetically at a wall and someone will automatically stroll over and buy you a drink. Some minibeasts have the right idea.)

Sorry about that, people. It's just ridiculously late at night where I am and I suddenly felt the need to start some form of literary doodling.

But yes, it's good to know that your son has some self-esteem; good that he has aspirations as well. What level of school is he in, or is it school as in college?