Hang in there, Serenity, and keep posting what you need to here.

I recognize this because Mrs Howie goes off in the same directions.
I have my own difficulties, as well.

But this direction, I've seen.

This too, shall pass.

You feel like you're failing, when just hanging in there is the very definition of true success.
Doesn't feel that way now, I know.
But it will in the long run.

As hunters say, "The tougher the prey, the sweeter the kill."

Might gross you out.
But nothing that comes too easy is fully satisfying.

You are in the right place Serenity, with friends who care! I may not be an Aspie, but I do care about people and I worry about friends who are hurting. As long as you know you did what is right and on the up and up you will be rewarded for your hard work. The truth will come out in the end.You know, many of our rewards are not here on this earth but we will eventually receive them if...OK I won't go there but you get the picture and have heard it before, I'm sure, or you can PM me if you want.

Just hang in there we all care and those furry little friends need you to give them their broccoli

Connie

Serenity, you have nothing to feel badly about - you did what you were supposed to do. I know sometimes being right is a lonely road but in the end it makes you the kind of person you can feel proud of. We all have really bad days where we feel "nobody likes us, everybody hates us" etc. and I have often layed in bed and tossed and turned and obsessed about what I could have/ should have done differently in a situation. One thing that sometimes helps me is to ask myself the 5 year question - "Is this going to be important to me 5 years from now" if the answer is no I then try to tell myself over and over to let it go, let it go. Not once has driving myself crazy about it ever helped. Sometimes I still do though. The older I get the easier it is for me to see that these are bumps in the road and I just need to have really good shocks.

Hang in there! We are here for you!

Linda

Serenity:

I have dealt with rough situations in projects in school/work before so I can sort of empathize with you on this. I'm sorry to hear about the health troubles. This may sound hokey, but remember that it doesn't rain every day - things will start looking up at some point.

if you have the recipe, then forge ahead,
they will all taste of the cake when it is ready.

who cares about "validation" or anything like that?

who can "validate" you? no one.

no one has the power to say what is valid or not.

forget about the outsiders and concentrate on your aim, and do not even look sideways at detractors.

they are just losers who want to make other people lose so they feel in company.


they may have a "title", but they also have an unofficial title in my mind.

never look to anyone else in the world to validate you i so believe.

you are such a special genetic arrangement, that what you believe is un-assessible by many people.

so stay with what you beleive and know it is true.


i know if i encountered you, i would pay attention to you.

throttle up.

Yes, please hang in there, Serenity and don't take the blame. It sounds like you did most of the work and they procrastinated and allowed you to shoulder most of the work.

You've come so far and I'm proud of you.


Carla

So, the director of the department and the director of disability services talked to me.

No biggie. Just had to basically tell them that I'm not sucidal. Just coming home after a bad doc's appointment to angry e-mails doesn't make for a good day when you're already depressed, stressed, and pissed off.

The director of the department told me to not meet with my group members - without telling them. Just told me to send an email to them telling them I wasn't feel well. Well, one member did not buy it and called me EIGHT times. The first time was on teh bus and the second time was while at the store. There was a kids yelling and singing loudly in the soap (all I needed was Dawn!). Well, I can't talk on the phone, trying to buy something, and block out the noise.

The damn "team" member already knew I was not feeling well. I told her I did not have the slides in front of me and told her that I sent her, in e-mail, what sections she was to do.

She called me twice in the store. I told her specifically that I wanted to get home before I did anything. At this point, I was at the point of snapping again (there was a reason why I was told not to go to the meeting!).

She called me THREE more times on the way home. I even ran across the highway on a red light because she wouldn't stop calling. So, I screamed at her that to leave me the fuck alone and I'd be home in twenty minutes. I did not like her attitude and she was being rude.

I then wrote her a snippy e-mail telling her that she better have read all twenty articles for the slides she wanted to do, because I did not want any negative responses like what happened during the draft review presentation (I also had this member in my poster presentation and she totally screwed the team over; she had brought a stack of papers that she had shared with neither I or the other team member and rambled for like 10 minutes - totally unprepared).

Well, she got pissed because a.) I didn't show up to the meeting and b.) I was CC-ing all the emails to the director of the department (which I was told to do). She basically called me a drama queen, a martyr, and accussed me of trying to control the presentation (I am, no question there - I was basing the presentation on familiarity, which meant I would have done 3/4 of the presentation). I left it alone at that and wrote an e-mail to the professor, director of the department, AND director of the disability services asking to do another grant proposal over the weekend, but no deal

I have to do the stupid presentation with my slacker team mates on Monday.

If she tries to talk over me, I will just talk louder.

I would have to say that have a really, really hot bath with anti-stress epsom salts, an anti-stress facial mask, and a mudslide, I'm feeling pretty good tonight. All warm and relaxed.

I am seriously thinking of writing an e-mail to the team member who was so rude. May be explaining the entire situation would make her feel like slime for being so rude. Then again, I don't really care. Monday is my last class.

- Serenity

My advice - let it go - enjoy your warm relaxed self!

Oh I am

All fuzzy and warm and relaxed. Like I used to feel on Christmas mornings as a kid with my dad home.

I just wrote her an e-mail explaining the situation and how, based on that situation, I could not possibly be a martyr in any sense of the word. My B.A. in English Lit. and minor in Classical Civilization finally comes in handy - boo yah! Then switched around the slides and agreed on a set. Monday should come and go without a hitch.

Time for bed. Need to get up early to clean and shop.

- Serenity

I would not answer her when she calls your cell phone.