Totally bombed the presentation.

One member claimed I messed up the numbers and that he was uncomfortable with my behavior and did not come to class.

The other member bombed and let me carry the presentation all the way through (the only who claimed that I was trying to take over the presentation when I was just trying to base the slides on familiarity). I remembered on Monday that she was not too familiar with Power Point and sent her an e-mail on Monday showing her how to access the notes. That totally screwed her up because she did not know that each note went with a particular slide.

My APD was so bad I wasn't processing nothing, so the Q&A session bombed worse than the presentation. Jen was sitting behind me, pissed off, arms crossed and then asked rather rudely "Do you mind if I say something?". I mean, sheesh - c'mon! I was not trying to take over the project or the presentation. I knew they were going to wait until last moment, half-ass it, and then leave me last minute to make edits. Even then, I did a piss-poor job because I clearly lacked focus. The proposal needed another set of eyes! There was just so many mistakes. It reminded me more of my high school papers than anything else and I am just so embarassed. I wrote a better 25 page study over the course of one weekend than that P.O.S. I wrote in one week.

And to think it is all my fault because I forgot to copy my accomodations sheet for the professor. I could have gotten out of the project from the get-go. However, my stupid pride got in the way. I am trying to hammer "team skills" into my head so I can get a job. And the ironic thing is I will more likely get fired from any future employment (if I am so lucky) because of my lack of social skills, not team skills!

I am so mentally banging my head right now. That, and this tooth pain is really kicking my ass. This damn tooth -----! Can't sleep, can't eat - all it does is throb, throb, throb! I can't afford a dentist, either - not unless the accept IOU's. I will be lucky if I get this final exam finished, the apartment cleaned, and finished packing by Saturday. My mom might have a rude awakening as to the lack of my organizational ability.

Ugh.

If I had not gone to that stupid conference in Jan and done a good job, I would not be in the mess I am now. I could just let this stupid matter go, but no - I had to do a good job and I paying for it now!

- Serenity

"No good deed goes unpunished" - Clare Boothe Luce