This is at the core of my dilemma - I not only don't have the eye contact issues, I am REALLY GOOD at that issue. Same for relating to other people.

The legendary Margaret, of this site's early days, taught me that the Aspie version of traits is NOT 'weaker than most.'
It's DIFFERENT than most.

That advice helped a lot of people.
I'm in the common "pet whisperer" category, but some who are not were on the other extreme. And that's not a contradiction!

Anyway, if the NT world would certify me (as it has my teen-aged nephew), that would be encouraging as I'd give speeches to the parents (not to claim that their child would be as outgoing, but to stress the variety of possible positive results).

I wonder whether you felt truly loved by your parents.

I find it hard to distinguish between the direct effects of my Aspergers and the effects of being rejected by my mother.

I remember seeing a program (NOVA?) that showed a mother monkey and child, both of whom had their facial muscles cut so they could not show any expression. You could see the two going to extreme lengths to avoid looking at each others' faces, because the message they perceived when they did was one of rejection. I slept badly for several nights after I saw that, having seen a reflection of my own childhood.

In my case, the rejection was real, as perceived by aunts, grandparents, etc. In other cases it might be the Aspie child's inability to receive emotional cues correctly.

Just wondering why you might be different... certainly not intending any disrespect.

Well, I'd just say that my father was similar and that my mother was extremely affectionate and greatly enjoyed breaks from the status quo.

I went out for my 19th birthday with some ex-high school buddies, and my closest neighoborhood friends who I usually socialized with were a bit stunned. They decided, in a bit of late-night irrationality, to steal all 18 flagsticks from a nearby golf course and place them all over my yard.

They only got 17 (3 am planning can be a little haphazard).

My brother and I were awakened the next morning by my excited mother.
"You guys have to see this!" she said. "There are golf flags everywhere! They're on the front lawn and the front porch and in the basketball net and on the roof and in the side yard and on the back porch - they're everywhere, I tell you!"

She sounded like a little kid on Christmas morning, she was so excited.

I think what you're saying is I was lucky. Really lucky.
Damn straight.

A "what a character" mom, and a stoic/heroic dad.

Neither one seemed to analyze what wasn't a practical goal - they just winged it as best they could, and often got pleasantly surprised.

My Dad's still around, and I tell him of my adventures with travel and encounters with celebrities and billionaires, and he enjoys them - but he doesn't say, "Wow, I never could have imagined it."

They both could imagine anything, in their own different ways.

I guess more parents might do well to adopt that line of thinking....

Point well taken - - that's from having too many meetings and just the plain old mess of trying to get people to understand where my son is coming from - sorry didn't mean to offend -

no problem, no offense taken. I just get annoyed when people say or think that there is something "wrong" with us. there is absolutely nothing wrong with us. we are gifted individuals that have lousy interpersonal skills in general. the world may be a better place if we had more aspergers running it, no gray areas, no BS hidden objectives just straight forward blunt "here it is" agenda

Yes, I only seek a positive outcome in discussion, mostly, and have no interest in attacking someone's words for some technicality.

I don't like to get stuck on a negative......

ROFLMAO, "I don't like to get stuck on a negative..."
"don't" - negative
"get stuck" - negative
"negative" - negative

"I ... have no interest in attacking someone's words for some technicality."

Well, it amuses ME to do so, but not with intent to harm. I just see the humour in it occasionally, as now.

If only Aspies were running the White House, the House, the Senate, and Congress. By golly, things would get done!

I'd like to think Aspies would be so hyper-focused and dedicated on getting the job done, that they'd eventually run out of things to do, get bored, and have to invent new projects to keep themselves occupied

- Serenity

"and have to invent new projects to keep themselves occupied"

That is so true.

Well played on me there, BK_G