I just started seeing a psychiatrist and she talked about the possibility of having asperger's syndrome. Then at the end of the session she basically said she changed her mind because I'm too inconsistent.

She said if I had aspergers I would not want to form relationships. I am married and have 3 children and go to college full time. I don't have friends outside of school, however; I do want friends its just that I talk allot about things that nobody is interested in. She said if I had aspergers I would not want to be friends with anybody. Is that true?

Not that I'm qualified, but ..... it seems to me that she is confusing Autism and Aspergers. An autistic person's intellectual (as well as social) development is altered by his/her condition, and he/she often seems unaware of any loss. An Aspie is normally acutely aware of the disadvantages of his/her condition, especially the lack of social relationships.

My son just had a psychological test also and that was one of the reasons why she did not agree with his Aspergers diagnosis from prior testing - because although he has social challenges he does want to make friends as opposed to someone who is not really interested in making friends - there is a whole lot of confusion when it comes to diagnosis - the same psychologist also suggested I read the book "Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals" by Tony Attwood and Lorna Wing. (Hello!) Just to give you an example of the contradictions psychologist have among themselves!

I forgot to add that no that is not true - my son does want to make friends (or at least not be treated like an outsider (his words)) and he also talks (a lot) about things that not too many people his age are interested in

Thanks InTune, I will look for that book on amazon. I had to ask because I was confused about what I was reading about aspergers online verses what she told me. I think it would be great to finally figure out if there is a reason I am so odd. I am being referred to a new psychiatrist in April. Thanks for the input.

"She said if I had aspergers I would not want to be friends with anybody. Is that true?"
I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist but she is wrong. she is definately mistaken for sure. I have aspergers I WANT friends I just don't have a clue on how to go about making or keeping friends.
for example, I am married, 11 years 2 wonderful kids and I have been at the same job for 15 years as a paramedic. tremendous amount of social interaction required but I can't read emotions or body language or facial expressions. I was diagnosed as aspergers at 41 and I have moderate to severe diagnosis.
talking about a lot of stuff people aren't interested in is very common for us, as well as being inconsistant in certain areas such as flying off some wild tangents thought processes. we could be talking about the yesterdays super bowl then suddenly talk about the upcoming fishing season for no reason. such as "did you see that gutsy onside kick to start the third quarter? that play changed the tempo of the game. by the way I got a new fly rod I can't wait to go use this spring. I need to work on my boat trailer to get it ready so I can take the kids fishing now that they know how to swim."

no kidding that is VERY common for us to change topics in mid sentence. if you read through post here you will see one topic started then somewhere through the conversation takes a turn and goes down another road.

oh by the way, welcome to the group. stick around and you may learn a few things about yourself and aspergers.

Welcome here, beegirl.

I have lots of friends - in spite of often ignorant analyses and guesses.

You have achieved a lot, and so have I, and no one can take that away.

And let got of all of those dumb comments you received!

The diagnoses are WAY behind real adults' successes.


Oh well.

But now, here, you may well find new insight......

I have a Master's degree, yet don't know how to make friends. Yes, I would like a friend - IF only the conversation didn't wear me out and IF I was sure I wouldn't offend them. But, there's just too much social "stuff" and anxiety issues in the way of everything. It's easier for me just to be alone.

They definitely need one definition of AS. All the different definitions out there are certainly confusing!

- Serenity

Serenity - do you think my son feels that way? I know - "whose to say?" - I feel so bad that he is always alone (and in middle school!) but sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to deal with the BS. And it's just as hard on me when he "thinks" he made a friend and then the friend doesn't really talk to him anymore - it breaks my heart because he doesn't understand why (and neither do I) but he just shrugs his shoulders at me and "says oh well" - I pray that he is that strong and that his family is enough to get him through this stage in his life (middle and high school) ugh!

I can't be sure if your son feels the same way.

I also have auditory processing disorder that compounds my Aspie/anxiety/sensory issues. Conversations are actually draining for me because of all the auditory processing stuff. My MVP (mitral valve prolapse) also wears me down a lot faster. So, as an adult, although I would like a few more friends, I also want my down time for myself because I am very exhausted at the end of the week. Now, I'm my own best friend (okay, not really - I get on my own nerves a lot lol).

However, in elementary/middle school, I very much wanted friends, but was often picked on and would come home from school, crying and asking why no one liked me. In high school, I I actually had friends to sit with at lunch, but hated going to social events (big time anxiety issues). When I moved to Florida, I had lost the friends I got to know and never really made any new friends. By the time I graduated high school, I was very much tired of it all and welcomed the pace that college brought. I didn't feel the peer pressure to party or do any normal college stuff - I actually studied and, for the most part, kept my nose to the grind stone.

- Serenity