Ok so today, yet again! I gave wayyy to much information about myself and I totally wierded everyone out. I want to slam my head up against the wall and never go back out in public. How do I unclog my filter? How do I keep my mouth shut!!!!!! Help! Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Just say "no" to cracking your mouth open. Sorry, I know that's a really bad joke.

Seriously though, you have to look at WHY you talk like that. I'll bet it's because you subconsciously think they'll like you better if you talk about yourself. If you think that might be it, remember that most people want to talk about themselves (for the same reason) and not really listen to someone else. Be a good listener and you are more likely to have friends than if you are a talker.

The joke may be corny but its helpful. I do allot of things because I think it will make people like me better and thats how i get taken advantage of so much. I just want a decent friend that will leave me alone when I need space. One girl had me doing all her homework for her. Then she was grabbing my phone whenever i got a text to read it. I finally told her to leave my phone alone but nobody ever takes anything i say seriously. This one girl told me I was funny and nieve. Im not trying to be funny and I dont want to be nieve. Sorry im just venting. I hate college. Im never going back when I graduate this spring.

I think I do something similar.

When I first meet someone, I am nervous because I worry that (s)he will take something I say the wrong way. If he gains my trust that he will react more or less reasonably, I suddenly open up - which scares him off.

Being nervous around people leads to loneliness, and that leads to overreacting when you think you've found a friend.

By the way, beegirl, do you keep bees? I used to before I moved to where I couldn't.

Exactly Johnblackwell! I scare them off cuz i open up wayy to much or tell some retarded story about about why cerebral spinal fluid is important or something dumb like that and then they are like umm ok.

No actually i dont keep bees. My neighbor usta keep bees in the summer time when I was little. I actually made up this name because my middle name is Bea and its kinda a nickname. Sept i figured if i used the nickname Beagirl yalld think i spelt bee wrong but then when I spell it bee its misleading but i do like honey! I cant win for loosing and im sure I dont make sense anymore so i'll stop. lol

Actually, if you had used Beagirl someone would likely have thought you were cross-gendered, a male who wants to Be A Girl. You made the right choice.

LOL!

ok maybe I am being too much aspie this morning and not using my cerebral cortex properly. which filter is clogged? and with what?
a simple way of keeping your mouth shut is simply by NOT openning it in the first place. sorry couldn't resist.

yeah I am in the same boat as you are. I usually divulge wayyy too much information or talk about things that other people don't have a clue or care about what I am saying. especially with my own wife. we got into a heated discussion last night because it seems that the only things I talk about are things that I am interested in or care about; never talking about her or her interest.

well you can take heart that have an explanation as to why you do this. you are an aspie and social ineptness and "blindness" are trademarks for us. if we didn't have these difficulties than we wouldn't be on the spectrum

oh we could have quite the interesting conversation about CSF and why it is important. like when they do a spinal tap to run test or administer neuortransmitter blocks for pregnancy it is likely that you will get a screaming painful headache that most drugs can't touch. if they take just a vial of CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) it could leave you with a biblical proportion sized migraine.

Ha, one of the main reasons I never want to have a spinal tap.

Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Happens to me all the time!

Eventually, everyone gets a story of my guinea pigs ;)

- Serenity

Start off with the basics - weather, Tiger Woods' confession, some class you have (briefly!), Winter Olympics, the nice outfit she's wearing (even if it isn't all that).

As noted, if they start talking, let them.
If you aren't talking that much, eventually they'll ask you questions. Answer them, but pretty briefly. If they want to know more, they'll ask more questions. If not, no more questions - and you'll be glad you stopped!

It's not impossible to learn this stuff, it really isn't.

College can be a good place because you have so many classmates and people in the library and bookstore and so on.
But of course many of the kids are immature.

I wouldn't let relatively meaningless social issues get in the way of your schooling (I will add that you being a girl, it's more likely that "I'm not going back" is a way of venting frustration and not necessarily literal. Though most Aspies are pretty literal. Hmm.)

It may not be impossible to learn these things, but it can be difficult sometimes. I've been doing a lot of work lately to reign in my verbose tendencies with people, only to have my efforts completely blown out of the water with a friend I've been hanging around with recently. The more we socialize, the more I ramble, and I've noticed he makes no effort in trying to shut me up, he just lets me continue unabated. He's like a co-enabler or something, LOL. But at least I'm conscious of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. That does make a difference I think.

At least i come and read this and know im not the only one that does this. It makes me feel better.

Totally great advice. I need to control myself!!

Yea im pretty sure I'll never go back. Unless for online classes. That I can handle.

Itd also be good if I worked on how I word things. I tend to offend people allot because I word stuff wrong. whoops!!! lol

Serenity how many guinea pigs do you have? I think guinea pigs make some cool sounds.

I have two guinea pigs - Oreo (about a two and a half) and Benny (three months and some short of two years). Oreo isn't much of a talker (he will, but only on occasion and only when it really means something!). Oreo tends to communicate more by stares and getting Benny to talk for him. This really confuses things because Oreo won't tell me when his water bottle has flooded his cage - instead, Benny will bang on his bars and I'll spend all day trying to figure out what Benny wants when, in actuality, Benny is just trying to tell me that Oreo's cage is flooded!

Benny is only quiet when he's asleep and even then he's been known to mutter in his sleep lol He's REALLY loud - if he's bored, hungry, cranky, tired, or whatever, he lets me know. He's a great whiner, even better at giving his opinion (I can't watch TV with him because he won't shut up - and, if I try to tell him anything, he'll kick or nip me in the mouth!), and has this really cute waking up sounds (it's like he's trying to wheek, but half asleep). He likes to bang on the bars of his cage, too - especially when he wants something. So far, I've figured out that the louder he bangs on his cage, it means he's hungry. Quick and fast means he wants hay. Short, quiet little bursts means he's trying to get Oreo's attention and quiet little bangs means he's talking to Oreo (or something - because he'll also "talk" to him without banging on the bars). We're still working on the concept that it's not okay to have food in one's mouth while trying to bang on the bars ...

- Serenity

"We're still working on the concept that it's not okay to have food in one's mouth while trying to bang on the bars ... "
ROFLMAO

Social stories are small stories which help people to learn lessons, prepare ahead or otherwise retain information.

I suggest you write a small social story and put it on an index card. Keep it in your pocket, and try to read it several times each day. Over time this will help you to be aware of the problem and adhere to the solution.

It's interesting that "Foot in Mouth Syndrome" is what it is called. Princess Anne once labelled her father, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, as having that very syndrome due to his habit of bemoaning every social issue from guns to housewives and directly or indirectly insulting almost every nation bar the Swiss.
(He's something of an anti-hero in Great Britain for these very reasons.)

HIJACK!!! The Swiss are now adding soy to their chocolate, making it dangerous for those with soy allergies to eat. Sadly, they still advertise it as being a hundred year old formula, which has to be an outright lie, as there is no way they were putting soy in their chocolates in the early 1900's.

Okay. Maybe the Prince will have something to moan to the Swiss about after all.

Similar things happen to me all of the time when my filter doesn't seem to be working. I embarrass myself ALL of the time when say things that make people uncomfortable and I almost always regret what I say after I say it (anywhere from a second after to a year after). What I do is I just do is I try to think about things before I say them (does't usually work though!) and If I still say something strange, I try to move past it and hopefully the people who heard me will too. I might also be helpful to tell them that your Asperger Syndrome sometimes lets you (or makes you) drive your point too far. Hope this helps!

Morgan, "Driving the point too far" that is wayy exactly what I do! I will usually regret it sometimes months later and beat myself up for crap that hopefully they dont remember. Its just cool to hear im not the only onen that does that.

About half the time I offend someone I can't figure out afterwards why they were offended. The other half, it's obvious in hindsight, and I'm embarrassed.

There are things I did or said as a teenager that I still wake up in the middle of the night, sweating with guilt and remorse. Other teenagers did or said things to me that still hurt today (on the odd occaisions I think about them) as if they happened yesterday.

Is it only we Aspies who have such long memories for pain? I often wonder.

No, I think everyone has that long memory of pains, or at least the lingering feelings anyway.

I still think I stumbled onto a secret to success - if all Aspie kids could be convinced to "studying the habits of NTs" as kids like I decided to do on my own, it would make life a LOT easier.

I get along with all kinds of people way better than most do; I know what they want to hear.
Do I lie? No; I just frame the discussion of honest commentary in the most appealing way to the listener.
And I'm basically never surprised by how someone else reacts.

Instead of being expert in trains or fish or Harry Potter movies, I wound up an expert in typical human behavior.
VERY useful, and no I don't misuse it, either (Aspie sense of fairness at all times).

Me too! I really do think that when we set our mind to something and stick to it we will end up being excellent at it.