Oh, shit. Sorry about that.

oh I don't have a problem in that department trust me LOL. no offense taken either

Some where on the site, they show you the beads they use. I haven't had a problem with my blanket - I LOVE it. I made one side cotton material so that, with a fan, in the summer it'd be cool enough (for me). The other side is flannel so it'd be warm enough for winter (clever huh?) - I was able to get blue so it matched the print fabric on the other side. Both sides are really soft. It all depends on your comfort level.

Once you submit a request for a blanket, the person running the company will send you current samples of fabric. Their customer care service is 100% - if you have any questions about the material, don't hesitate to ask!

Either my counselor or my psychiatrist said that they are safe for nightly use - I usually kick mine off (a 22 lb blanket!) in the middle of the night.

Depending on my anxiety (which hasn't been that high lately, thanks to the anxiety meds), I use the blanket either nightly (when I have trouble sleeping) or whenever I feel the urge to be smooshed. I treat my weighted blanket as an optional treatment for anxiety and use it as needed.

My blanket is also cute 'cause the cotton side says "Java kitty". I'll have to take a picture of it this weekend.

Bart - thanks for fixing the link. I'm often posting links in between guinea fits and so my focus is usually divided.

Personally, as to the material, I asked myself: if this thing were to fall apart on me while sleeping, would I rather have beads in my bed or material X?

The stitching is really, really well done, too - almost like a quilt blanket - so it's like there's "pockets" of beads and not just a bag full of 'em. No worries about uncomfortable shifting!

- Serenity

I went out and bought a blanket yesterday. I found a person in Massachussets who makes these blankets, with poly beads, cotton and stretch fabric for under $150 dollars with shipping. I got penguins on the blanket well because penguins have ALWAYS been my first love. hopefully I can get it in a few weeks because I think I could really use it right now.

Cool - good price and I hope it works! Good luck!

You know you truly have one sweet blanket that's just right for you when you snuggle up under it and your whole body instantly relaxes ...

- Serenity

man I really hope that happens. I am under a tremendous amount of stress lately with very little opportunity to release the tension. I've noticed that my stimming is getting to be more frequent and noticable. I really don't want to increase my medicine because that doesn't address the reason why I feel like this. I have an appointment thursday with my shrink and I will discuss options. I've been lucky that I have been able to diffuse myself before I hit meltdown stage but I dont know how much longer I can go. I need something! I really dont want more drugs legal or otherwise, I dont drink much if at all and I really dont want to start smoking again either

Are you letting yourself express things fully with your shrink? I know my buddy tried one years ago, and his didn't really even feel that there was a problem, till one day my buddy snapped and punched a huge hole in the guy's office wall. THEN he knew that it was real; before that my buddy had been entirely too calm and sensible sounding, despite his inner turmoil and pain.

For what it's worth, the shrink never actually did help, but discovering he had AS made a huge difference; once he started forgiving all that was never a choice in the first place.

well honestly speaking, no I have not had the chance to express what has been going on lately. all of this recent crap has happened since my last appointment. however I HAVE been discussing it in weekly therapy sessions. for some reason lately, everything that I learn or try retaining just seems to escape me. I cant even remember conversations that occured just hours earlier. I know a lot of it is due to the stress and depression that I am under; my mind is racing with thoughts, mostly negative.

I still feel as though the things that I had done that I had control over it and cant find forgiveness. certain things that I've done I really dont see my self forgiving myself EVER. No offense intended, but I refuse to divulge my worst transgressions on this board, public or privately.

maybe I could start trying forgiving myself for some of my social ineptness, because THAT is something I dont have much control over. I still feel like crap because of all the problems that I've had, mostly with my wife. I learned too late it seems what was wrong and trying to fix it may be too little too late. I hurt her too many times and too much for her to be able to forgive me and give me yet another chance. how many chances does a person get before you say "get lost"?

lately I've been preparing myself mentally that our marriage is finally over. I've started focusing on trying to manage being by myself. I'm scared and very depressed because of all the uncertainty.

Now if that doesn't describe AS, nothing will. While all the other things are bad, indeed, horribly sad, nothing quite upsets an aspie as much as uncertainty. We can put up with just about anything, as long as we know what that anything is, and will continue to be.

well I paid for it today and she said she can have it out in less than 2 weeks. its good because I think with all of the turmoil I'm in I could use whatever aid possible for comfort or assurance (relaxation).